Do You Feel Like a Fraud?
Chances are good that you have felt like a phony at some point in your life, and perhaps you do right now. Also known as the Impostor Syndrome, Impostor Phenomenon, or Fraud Syndrome, it is something that is suffered by somewhere between forty percent and seventy percent of all people at some point in their lives, and by many chronically. Some experts believe that a person has more of a tendency to suffer from Impostor Syndrome if they grew up in families that place a great emphasis on achievement and specifically if the parents sent mixed messages to their children, alternating between praise and criticism. A higher incidence has also been noted among people who are embarking on a new endeavor in their lives such as a new career or students who are beginning to pursue an advanced degree.
One of the most dreadful truths faced by those suffering from the Impostor Syndrome is that it leads to a horrible cycle. Once someone is afraid of being discovered as a fraud they work harder, then they achieved success, then they subconsciously attribute their success to the feelings of anxiety they felt. They then develop almost superstitious beliefs about how the Impostor Syndrome helps them to succeed. Packaged along with this deal is a horrible sort of perfectionism as well.
Do you suffer from Impostor Syndrome?
There are many techniques that you can use to overcome the Impostor Syndrome. You should begin by realizing that Impostor Syndrome is a classic case of comparing your insides with other people’s outsides. When you consider it in that light, you can see just how irrational it is.
One good suggestion to overcome the problem is to list your accomplishments and failures. You must be aware that you’re failing to recognize your own accomplishments and you’re possibly overemphasizing your failures. Sometimes we need help creating an accurate picture of ourselves, and writing a list can certainly help because it will force you to separate feelings from fact. If by chance there is a reason that you should feel fraudulent, a list will help you to identify the areas where you have truly underachieved, and you can work on educating yourself. Otherwise you can work on accentuating the positive.
Another technique that can help you is to chunk the achievements that you’d like to accomplish into small, bite-sized portions and then tackle them one at a time keeping an ordered to-do list of these achievements. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
One of the worst things that a person who suffers from Impostor Syndrome can do is to keep the emotions bottled up inside of them and not admit feelings of inadequacy to anyone. If this is a problem that you’re facing, you should seek out a friend or loved one to whom you can confess your feelings. Once you start doing that, you’ll learn that almost everybody’s winging it or faking it until they make it. Consider that if your mentors, bosses, etc. had admitted their feelings of insufficiency to you how much better you’d feel about yourself now. Remember that there are people looking up to you who may see you as a hero who can do no wrong. Even though you feel like you’ve been put on a pedestal you don’t deserve, the ones who might actually be putting you on that pedestal deserve to see that you also suffer from feelings of inadequacy from time to time. We all do.
It will also help if you develop a new set of responses to your feelings of fraudulence. Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” You should stop punishing yourself for being human and just get up on the metaphorical horse. If you have been operating under the assumption that you always have to be right or should always know all of the answers, it’s time to change that outlook on life as well.
Another adjustment you should make to your perception is that, realizing that everybody has to fly by the seat of their pants from time to time, you should begin to look at it as many high achievers do: Winging it actually a very important skill. Don’t let a lack of self confidence cause you to wait to start on important projects. Realize that everybody goes through a learning curve when they are beginning something new.
Of course you could always take heart in the great irony of Impostor Syndrome: The people who are the true frauds and idiots probably never experience any feelings of inadequacy. As much as I hate to quote Bertrand Russell, he said, “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
The fraudulent Christian
Sometimes feelings of fraudulence also infiltrate our Christian lives and our relationships with God. We take a look around us at all of the other Christians who seem so happy and who look like they’re experiencing something wonderful while we’re just putting on a show. We have to apply the same principles to these feelings of fraudulence as we do to the ones related to more secular issues. While it is possible than we’re neglecting our relationship with God (in fact this is probably the case for a lot of us,) we must also understand what Solomon told us under divine inspiration: Apart from a relationship with God, everything is vanity. We have to take up our crosses and crucify the old man daily for this very reason. Our flesh is weak and often leads us to do anything but spend time with God.
I pointed out above that people who are truly frauds don’t experience Impostor Syndrome. While I meant that as a little bit tongue-in-cheek, the truth is that people who fake their Christian devotion generally aren’t the self-examining types. That you are attempting to make sense of what feels like a lack of faith shows that you are most likely not a fake Christian. All saved people have doubts from time to time. Those who go to church and talk the talk, but who are not truly born again will not feel the tugging and conviction of the Holy Spirit and therefore won’t try search for answers to feelings of fraudulence.
Dealing with doubt
Doubting your faith can stem from several different situations. If you have been exposed to legalism you are more than likely experiencing grief due to your inability to maintain a set of man’s laws. Perhaps you are listening to Satan when you should be ignoring him. Maybe you’ve become disconnected from other Christians. When you are facing doubt about your salvation or feeling like you are faking your Christianity, the only answer is to get into the Bible and pray earnestly to God, admitting to him how you’re feeling and asking him to get you through it.
Keep in mind that our feelings tend to balloon themselves out of proportion. A few doubts, when left disorganized and unaddressed, begin to swirl into a soup of general malaise. Take time to list why you are feeling doubt, and you’ll see that there are probably only one or two issues, not a disastrous storm of disbelief. Maybe you’re simply mad at God and not doubting at all. Knowing this will help you to see through the malaise and get to the solution to the problem – fixing your point of view and renewing your relationship with God. Maybe you are misunderstanding doctrine, or believing something that’s not biblical. In this case the counsel of a pastor or knowledgeable friend can help. Remember that just because you are confused does not mean that the tenets of Christianity are untrue; it simply means that you are human.
Keep seeking God’s plan for your life. You can’t be a fraud if you’re on the road He put you on!
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